Big Brother

One of the most difficult parts about the process of this risky adoption is wondering how it will affect Isaac if things don't go our way. He has loved becoming a big brother, and as Ava Rose gets bigger and has started smiling and cooing, he's having even more fun talking to her, entertaining her and comforting her if she's upset.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that Isaac prayed for a baby brother or sister for well over a year. I wrote on his adoption blog about his prayers for a sibling. That was in April of 2011, and he continued to ask us to pray for a baby almost every time we sat down to dinner until this past fall when we got the news about Ava Rose and decided to tell him he would be a big brother.

In fact, just a few weeks before we got The Phone Call, Isaac looked up from playing with his cars and said to me, "I want a baby sister." I said, "Well, ask Jesus to bring you one." A little while later, long enough for me to forget that little exchange, he looked up again and said, "He said yes!" I asked him who said yes to what and he said, "Jesus said he would bring me a baby sister."

Now, I don't know what went on there--but I do believe it's possible that a little boy with an innocent faith very well could have prayed to Jesus and received an answer. And then of course, a few weeks later, we get a call that we have been chosen to raise a little girl. Coincidence?

So, after watching my son ask God for a sibling for almost 2 years, and then having such an apparently clear answer to that prayer, I have wondered what it will do to Isaac and his growing faith if Ava Rose can't stay in our family forever. It's one thing for Mark and me to trust God that He'll be with us if we lose Ava Rose, but it's a bit harder to trust God with my little boy's heart.

Hard, but not impossible. As difficult as it is to fathom, God loves Isaac even more than I do. He invited our whole family on this journey, including Isaac, so we have to trust that He'll take care of all of us if we get bad news.

In the meantime, we will continue to enjoy watching Isaac be a wonderful big brother to Ava Rose.

Possibly, Maybe, Hopefully Good News

We received some news last week, and things have been emotionally up and down since then.

First, we heard that there were two hearings scheduled: one Feb. 6 (the custody hearing in Williams Co), and one scheduled Feb. 28 (the consent hearing in Lucas Co--the one in which J would have to prove emotional or financial support). A's lawyer, Jill, was going to try to have the Feb. 6 hearing dismissed, on the grounds that there is already an adoption in progress, so the custody hearing is unnecessary.

On Feb. 6 we got an email from our lawyer saying that J had voluntarily dismissed his paternity/custody suit! This could be very good news, exactly what we've been praying for.

It could also simply mean that J and his lawyer have realized that the appropriate venue for a paternity/custody suit is the county in which the child resides. So it's possible he withdrew his suit in Williams Co in order to re-file in Cuyahoga Co.

As far as we know, J should not even know that we and Ava Rose reside in the Cleveland area--but we think it's likely that information was inadvertently given to him by A. So now we are just going to have to wait and see if he re-files.

I'm feeling a bit more hopeful with this development, but still trying to remind myself that this isn't necessarily over. It seems to me that the hearing on Feb. 28 could go our way, but it will be completely up to the judge to hear testimony from J and A, and possibly from our agency, and decide if J actually tried to be involved in the pregnancy. If the judge decides that he was not serious about providing support to A and their child, then we will not need his consent to proceed with the adoption.

But, as I mentioned in an earlier post, we think he could re-file his paternity suit at any time--possibly even after the adoption is finalized this summer. So we're not exactly sure when the waiting will be over.